What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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