I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
