you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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