brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
