Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
