I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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