I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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