Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
