I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
