you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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