Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
