remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
