Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
