You just made me feel so damn special
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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