She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
