A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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