so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
