Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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