I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
