Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize