That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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