No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
