Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
