ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm too high and old for this...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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