Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
