You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
