she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
