i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
