Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize