At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
