woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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