I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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