his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
