Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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