Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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