Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
