Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
