So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
