redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
