Can Purell be used as lube?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
