just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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