i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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