Sry I called you an 8
i already hear my dad disowning me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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