Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
