She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
