I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
