Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
