just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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