question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
