covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
