Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
