You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
