She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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