Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
